September 4, 2009
I went to see the new Final Destination movie this weekend. I know, I know, you're all sitting in front of your computer screaming "Why, Ben? Why?!" Well I like 'em, dammit. Guilty as charged, I enjoy those movies. As silly as they are, they will entertain you for 2 hours while you're sitting around waiting for the sweet release of death. Here's the thing though, I saw a preview for this movie a few months ago and I was excited enough, but didn't spray sperm to the celing or anything. But then they revealed this one would be in 3D and I immediately went from a grandpa with a nice, fresh grilled cheese to a 6 year old at 7am on December 25th. Hmmm...I probably shouldn't mention jizzing violently and children on Christmas morning back to back...I hope the FBI's webcrawler doesn't catch that. Sheesh. Anyways, so I'm all excited, I even brought my own 3D glasses! (Jesus what a fucking dork! Who does that?) But we get there, buy tickets, I look up at the menu and it has 2D beside the title. Huh? Oh Hollywood, you got me again, fuckers. I guess it pays to read the fine print. Only certain theaters are showing it in 3D. But it was still pretty fun. Also, we went to lunch at Groucho's before the movie and it took a little longer that expected. Seems our ticket got mixed up in the back somehow and our food didn't come out for a while. It really wasn't THAT long of a wait, but the guy brought it out, apologized, and tore up our ticket. Free Groucho's. Talk about a sore dick...you can't beat it. So I'd like to return the favor. Everyone needs to eat at Groucho's! Sandwiches, wraps, salads, everything on the menu is fantastic and at great prices! Eat at Groucho's Deli!
-BH
Oh yeah, today's comic is a reference to the show True Blood. It's a show sort of about vampires but it has about a dozen other monster type things as well. If you've seen it you know what I mean when I say it's too goofy to even explain and the acting isn't just sub-par, it's triple bogey. Somehow though, it's entertaining. But this one dude is a "shape shifter" who can change forms with anything he comes in contact with. Like for example he changes from an adult human male into a big dog...ok fine but then he goes from a man into a fly and flies out of jail. Oh not so fast my friends. The first law of thermodynamics clearly states that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. But should I really be bitching about this?
-BH
You know how I know you're gay? You admit watching the tv series "True Blood". The demographics report that it appeals mostly to a group of humans labeled "tweens". A significant portion of this group has undescended testicles. I'm just hating cause I don't even have cable to watch these shows to bitch about them. I'm normally busy coming up with get-rich-quick schemes. I make a list of ideas that I have everyday. I then proceed to cross out all the ones that end up with "federal pound me in the ass prison" such as printing money, and starting scam charities. That pretty much wipes out my list, because just about every method of getting rich quick, involves giving up your immortal soul and smashing your personal Jiminy Cricket with a 16lb sledgehammer. As much as I think I would enjoy going all Gallagher on Jiminy's carapaced ass, I'm a bit attached to my soul.
Here's more Tony!
-JL
I went to see the new Final Destination movie this weekend. I know, I know, you're all sitting in front of your computer screaming "Why, Ben? Why?!" Well I like 'em, dammit. Guilty as charged, I enjoy those movies. As silly as they are, they will entertain you for 2 hours while you're sitting around waiting for the sweet release of death. Here's the thing though, I saw a preview for this movie a few months ago and I was excited enough, but didn't spray sperm to the celing or anything. But then they revealed this one would be in 3D and I immediately went from a grandpa with a nice, fresh grilled cheese to a 6 year old at 7am on December 25th. Hmmm...I probably shouldn't mention jizzing violently and children on Christmas morning back to back...I hope the FBI's webcrawler doesn't catch that. Sheesh. Anyways, so I'm all excited, I even brought my own 3D glasses! (Jesus what a fucking dork! Who does that?) But we get there, buy tickets, I look up at the menu and it has 2D beside the title. Huh? Oh Hollywood, you got me again, fuckers. I guess it pays to read the fine print. Only certain theaters are showing it in 3D. But it was still pretty fun. Also, we went to lunch at Groucho's before the movie and it took a little longer that expected. Seems our ticket got mixed up in the back somehow and our food didn't come out for a while. It really wasn't THAT long of a wait, but the guy brought it out, apologized, and tore up our ticket. Free Groucho's. Talk about a sore dick...you can't beat it. So I'd like to return the favor. Everyone needs to eat at Groucho's! Sandwiches, wraps, salads, everything on the menu is fantastic and at great prices! Eat at Groucho's Deli!
-BH
Oh yeah, today's comic is a reference to the show True Blood. It's a show sort of about vampires but it has about a dozen other monster type things as well. If you've seen it you know what I mean when I say it's too goofy to even explain and the acting isn't just sub-par, it's triple bogey. Somehow though, it's entertaining. But this one dude is a "shape shifter" who can change forms with anything he comes in contact with. Like for example he changes from an adult human male into a big dog...ok fine but then he goes from a man into a fly and flies out of jail. Oh not so fast my friends. The first law of thermodynamics clearly states that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. But should I really be bitching about this?
-BH
You know how I know you're gay? You admit watching the tv series "True Blood". The demographics report that it appeals mostly to a group of humans labeled "tweens". A significant portion of this group has undescended testicles. I'm just hating cause I don't even have cable to watch these shows to bitch about them. I'm normally busy coming up with get-rich-quick schemes. I make a list of ideas that I have everyday. I then proceed to cross out all the ones that end up with "federal pound me in the ass prison" such as printing money, and starting scam charities. That pretty much wipes out my list, because just about every method of getting rich quick, involves giving up your immortal soul and smashing your personal Jiminy Cricket with a 16lb sledgehammer. As much as I think I would enjoy going all Gallagher on Jiminy's carapaced ass, I'm a bit attached to my soul.
Here's more Tony!
-JL